Title: Seeking Forgiveness|
Author: Kia Mira
Fandom: X-Men (movie)
Rating: R for some rough language.
Summary: Logan and Rogue Seek forgiveness.
Category: Logan/Rogue Friendship/Love
Disclaimer: If they were mine the movie would have been pornographic and the story would have consisted of some major plot holes laid around Hugh Jackman's scantilly clad body. Sound good? Thought so. So, no! They are not mine they are the people that wrote/ produced and starred in the movie.
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NOT BETA READ SO SORRY!
I came fully awake to her wide startled eyes and my claws weighted down with her slight form. It had been her gasp of surprise that had picked me up out of my waking nightmare and dropped me firmly in reality. I retracted my claws immedietly and she dropped the inch back to the floor. He legs wobbling at having to catch herself. I held her my eyes on hers. I remember calling for someone to help me and then I was drowning in the depth of her eyes.
I tried to say I was sorry, but my lips would utter only a one word plea. "No,nonononono..."
"You were havin' a nightmare." she whispered a slight smile on her face. "I know," I say.
Then she lifts her left hand slowly to my face. I am still muttering no. As her fingers slid softly, gently across my cheek. It is wonderful. I feel a surge of electric that thrills me and then it changes. Like the tides of the sea it rolls out again and takes with it my strength. And blackness hovers close to my mind as the tide turns yet again and her hand moves away.
I hadn't meant to frighten him. That was the thought that goes through my mind as I feel the white hot pain flow through my chest. It was odd like ah was seein' it happen from outside my body. Our eyes met and I could see the surprise and shock in his eyes.
He bares my weight as he retracts the long claws. My eyes widen even more at the pain of his retreatin' metal claws. I watch as his eyes fill with lose and helplessness.
I want to comfort him. I wish for a moment that I could take the pain away. I lift my hand and feel the rasp of his hair against my fingertips. I feel a strange tingling in my fingers first then it moves up my arm and into my chest the pain is obliterated and I feel the wound healing. It is when his mind enters me that I realize what I have done. When I realize I knew what I was doin' the moment I reached for him. I jerked my hand away from him and he slumps to the floor.
I stare down at him. My eyes wide. What have I done? Tears fall from my eyes as I watch Jean kneel beside him. I turn seein' storm in the doorway. "It was an accident." I say. I can't stand the looks of the others in the door. I want out so I start for the door. The crowd seperates and lets me pass. All havin' seen what I did and not wantin' to touch me because of it.
I'm runnin' again. That is how I felt as I ran to my bed. I was runnin' all mornin' as I wandered like a wraith through the halls of Xavier's School. I finally ended up on a bench my breakfast untouched.
Runnin' with Bobby's hateful words ringin' in my ears. All I want is forgiveness. Bobby's words bring all hope of that crashing down around me. So I run. I go to my room and I pack my things. What little I have left. I take the elevator down to the ground floor and sneak past the open door of Storms class room. She isn't there and I sigh with relief. It didn't take long for me to make it to the main road. And it was little trouble hitchin' a ride to the train station. I wish I had the courage to talk to him again. His presence is strong inside my head. I wish he could forgive me for my actions lastnight. If I hadn't craved his company it wouldn't have happened.
The realization that she might have killed me was followed quickly by the thought that I have never been that close to death in all my years of trying. I was to wired after old Cue ball left me so i sat contemplating my own mortality.
The kid may not realize it but she gave me back something I lost. Something that might have been gone long before that day fifteen years ago when I woke up with no memory of who or what I was. She gave me the realization that I want to live. I looked all over the school for her, but she was gone.
The others weren't very upset. They thought she was just upset. That it would soon be over and she would be back. I felt more of an urgancy. I felt a cold band of steal wrapping around my chest. With each moment that she got farther and farther away I felt it tighten. It was my fault that she left. I was responsible. I have felt responsible for her from the moment I set eyes on her.
That's how I ended up sneakin' on the train and walking the aisle looking for her. I noticed the top of her cloak with in the first few seats. I walk slowly up to stand beside her.
"Hey, Kid." I say warning her of my presence. For reason's I can't understand I am a little afraid to sit. Oh, not because of her. It is the emotions that race through me at her sad eyes. I froan a little as she turns away lookin' straight ahead. I ease into the seat. "I'm sorry-" I gather courage enough to turn to her. "about last night."
She looks at me a small smile on her lips and in her eyes. I like it."So, you runnin' again?"
"Ah heard the Professor was mad at me."
"Where did you hear that?" That doesn't sound right.
"Ah boy at school."
I feel rage shootin' up my spine. If I ever get my hands on that kid I'll be the last rumor he spreads. She notices the tension in me.
"You think I should go back." she says readin' my thoughts.
"No, I-I think you should follow your instincts." She kind of smiles and looks at me before taking a deep breath and saying.
"The first boy I ever kissed ended up in a coma for three weeks. IAh can still feel him in my head." I'm stunned and I look it."And it's the same with you." The look on my face shows my feelings. And all I can hope is she didn't see the darkness that shrouds my mind as clearly as I do. I look at her and she has her eyes and lips pressed together trying not to let the tears fall. She is failing.
I put my arm around her shoulder and press lightly trying to pull her to me. Her shoulder is firm and warm as I huddle over her guarding her. I feel so much for this little scrap of a girl. It is frightening in the extreme. "There are not many people who will understand what you're going through, but this guy Xavier seems to generally want to help you and that is a rare thing..." The connection stretching between us tightens in my chest. "for people like us." I add.
She pulls away and looks up into my eyes. I can see it there. The forgiveness. I want her to know that I forgive her as well so I tell her about the discovery I made after our bonding. Yeah, that sounds right because that is what we did. Bonded.
"You know lastnight after you touched me I came to a realization. I realized that after fifteen years of tryin' to die. That I don't really want that anymore. You gave that back to me. Thank you."
There are tears in her eyes again. These though seem to be of happiness and forgiveness. We sought forgiveness and found it. It seems to be our destiny, Seeking Forgiveness. Our mutations more curse than blessing.