Title: The Essence of You
Author: Liz I.
Email: surferangel903@yahoo.com
Fandom: Roswell
Rating: PG-13
Summary: This is an alternate ending to "Balance." What if Michael had died? It's Maria's POV when she returns to his grave a month later.
Category: Michael & Maria
Disclaimer: I don't anything or anyone from Roswell. I'm just borrowing them. I promise to return them - maybe.
Archive: Anywhere, just ask me first :)
Author's Notes: I know there are probably a lot of these floating around, but I'm still giving it a try.

They say the dead can hear you thoughts. Well, can you hear me now Spaceboy? You know, I never thought that what happened out there, in the cave, would effect everyone who knew you. You'll never know that we all cared about you.

Liz seems to feel guilty, because she didn't take place in the ritual. She keeps saying that if she had taken place in it, that you'd be alive. I guess I could hate her, but she's still my best friend. But if she wasn't so worried about Max, maybe, you know, you'd still be here with us, with me.

Alex, well, is Alex. He's still shaken up with the whole alien thing, and this had pretty much put him over the edge. I know, you guys weren't very close, but he stilled cared. He spends most of his time comforting me and Liz, me especially. Maybe he's in denial of the whole thing, or maybe he's accepted it and moved on. I don't know. He's always put me and Liz first before dealing with his own emotions. He's always done that too.

Isabel cries. She comes by to see your grave at least once a week. Her and Max usually come together. I've never seen Isabel like this. But then again, I haven't known Isabel for that long. I try to be there for her, but I'm so lost in my own pain, that it's hard. I think she understands though. In some weird way, I think she understands that I would be there for her if I could. Maybe I'll stop by tonight, just to check up on her.

Max cries too. He doesn't let anyone see it though. But I know he does. His eyes are red and he looks like hell. And that's just a nice way to put it. I wonder if he's been eating, because he looks so much skinnier. Even Liz can't seem to get through to him. He's pretty much shut himself out from the world. He goes straight home after school, and I usually don't see him until the next morning.

What about me, you ask? Well, Spaceboy, do you really want to know? Yea, I cry. I cry a lot. I could probably fill an ocean if I wanted to. The world will never be thirsty as long as Maria DeLuca cries over Michael Guerin. I know, it's not something to joke about. But joking about it makes the pain a little more bearable.

And you thought no one cared about you? Well, guess what? People cared. I mean, the Evans cared enough to buy a grave for you, did you know that? You were like the third child. Why couldn't you see that? Dammit, Michael, why?

I cared. I still care. I'll always care, Michael Guerin, I always will. I hope Michael, wherever you are, that you're happy. Did you finally find your home? Is it what you always thought it would be? I hope it is. For your sake. I hope it's everything you've ever wanted and dreamed of. I hope you got your perfect family Michael. Obviously the family you had here on Earth wasn't enough for you because you had to go and die on us.

Do you realize that you had a family here Michael? One that cared about you? Max, Isabel, Liz, Alex, and me. We were your family. But you were too blind to see it, and now it's too late for you to realize it.

Do you know what your grave says Michael? It says, 'Michael Guerin 1983-1999 Beloved Son and Friend.' The Evans picked out what it says. They considered you part of the family. And now, they mourn you, like a son.

You were never very good at expressing your emotions, so none of us know what you thought of us. Did you care about me Michael? Did you love me? Because, you know, I loved you. Figures that now that you're gone, and I can finally bring myself to say it. I love you Michael Guerin.

Dammit, I've got to go. It's time to go to work. I would say see you around, but I won't, so I'll stop by tomorrow Michael. So, until tomorrow.

I love you, Michael. Don't forget it either. I'll always love you.