Title: Dealing Forbidden Cards|
Fandom: X-Men (comic)
Rating: Pg-13 (has reference to sex)
Disclaimer: None of the familiar characters in this fanfiction belong to me, they belong to Stan Lee (who I'd tip my hat to if I wore hats...)
Ah tediously untwist mahself from the coil of our bodies, careful not to wake 'im as ah pick up the strewn covers and wrap 'em around me. Mah heart vaults ta mah throat when he groans and turns over onta his other side. Ah could still smell 'im on my skin, could still feel his touch.
Remy's gonna kill me. Ah can already see his fiery crimson eyes in the mirror, his soft lips quiverin', lookin' at me in disgust. Ah shake the image from mah head, fumblin' silently to the bathroom and quietly shut the door behind me.
Ah shouldn't had done what ah did, but now it is too late. Ah already gone and did it, now ah have ta face the consequences with mah tail between mah legs. Ah had a hard life growin' up, trustin' people that ya couldn't shake a stick at without bein' killed fer it.
Ah'm not tryin' ta make up excuses for mahself, or why ah did what ah did. But ah'm sayin' dat ah coulda had a better life growin' up, dat's all. Bein' a mutant ain't all it's cracked up ta be, believe me. Especially with the kinda powers ah got, not bein' able to have physical contact with anybody without havin' 'em sucked inside o' my head.
So how'd ah do what ah did last night? It all comes down plain an' simple, ah touched Colossus when he was walkin' down the hall. You can call it a dirty trick if ya wanna, but ta the wicked girl that only comes out from time to time, it was simply just a pleasant change.
'Kay, so ah forgot ta mention the fact that ah was totally drunk at the time, and Wolvie was just along fer the ride. Ah don't mind if ya call me a whore or whatever ya wanna, but you can't blame Wolvie.
He's hurtin' inside, like a ravagin' beast in his soul completely shreddin' 'im apart. And the only way ta comfort that hurt is ta get some lovin'. And ah can faintly remember 'im askin' for mah full approval ta do it. Over and over until Ah had ta shut 'im up with a gag.
Ya shoulda seen the look in his eyes, that look that says he knows he's doin' somethin' so wrong, but it feels so good. Ah was kinda like that, at least behind the mask o' 'three sheets to the wind' type o' thing.
But now it's done and over with, so there's nothin' neither of us can do now. Sure ah'm scared that Remy'll find out, you sayin' you wouldn't be? Ah couldn't even touch 'im with my bare skin when we were together, now here ah am, lovin' Wolvie.
Ah sigh deeply, takin' in the frazzled hair, the dull eyes, the pale features, and the shakin' hand that clutches the covers around me. With an angry breath, ah turn on the faucet and splash cold watah on mah face, bringin' new meanin' to the word hang over.
Ah shake the cold watah from mah face and pad back out into the bedroom barefoot. Ah pull open the bureau drawer and pull out a yellow tee shirt and a pair o' blue jeans and gloves. Quickly ah put them on, throwin' the sheets ta the ground.
With shakin' hands, ah gather mah hair and pull it back inta a bun, lettin' a couple strands hang loose. Mah eyes are on Logan the whole time, drinkin' in the curves of his chest and takin' in the way he breathes.
His tousled blue hair and the flutterin' of his eyelids as he sleeps. He mumbles somethin' that ah can't quite pick up, but it don't really matter that much. Ah can feel Colossus startin' to slip outta mah mind, like he's just barely hangin' inside me like a loose thread.
Ah leave mah feet bare as ah climb carefully back up inta the bed, movin' mahself so ah'm next ta Logan's sleepin' frame. He kinda spooks me when he turns over and smiles, his smile the most beautiful thing ah ever seen in a while, besides his body.
Without much thinkin' about it, ah coax 'im inta mah lap like a cat, lettin' his head rest on top o' my chest as ah gently stroke his hair. Before ah know it, he's snorin' lightly on top o' me, the smile loose on his face.
Somehow, his smile's lost all its meanin' and it no longer shines like it did before. Ah look away from it, mah eyes trailin' the room until they unfortunately fall upon a picture o' Remy and me huggin'.
The way Remy's hair is blown in the wind and the way we look so happy together. Damn it! Ah slam the picture facedown on the bedside table, knockin' loose a piece o' white paper. When ah reach over ta pick it up, ah realize that it's one o' Remy's playin' cards.
Ah twirl it around in mah fingers, lookin' at the singed corners as tears start ta boil upward, cloudin' mah vision. Ah push down the gasps fer air so as not ta wake Wolvie, but no doubt he's bound ta hear me with those super sensitive ears o' his.
Suddenly, ah let loose a sharp breath and Logan perks up, his bright blue eyes radiant as he looks up ta me with a worried face. Ah can't do nothin' but bury mah face in mah hands, bawlin' out mah eyes and tellin' myself what a fool ah am.
"It just ain't fair..." Ah stutter, more speakin' to mahself then ta Wolvie. Ah can feel the bed shift as he moves up and wraps his arms tight around my shoulders. His body heat comes off o' him like a furness, bleedin' through mah clothes and drippin' along mah skin.
Mah heart is suddenly ripped in half, along with mah conscious. One part o' me wants to rip away from Wolvie's grasp and run as fast as ah can away from everythin'. But the other part o' me wants to stay tight in his lovin' grip, comfortin' me.
"Ah'm sorry, Remy. Ah'm so sorry..."