Title: I Have Secrets
Author: Tellie (Slayer Spike)
Email: slayerspike@unbounded.com
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Rating: PG-15
Summary: Angel visits and sees something is different about Willow. The little witch herself is putting Spike's lessons to the test when she meets her friends for a research night.
*Nominee for BBF fic awards!*
Series: For What It's Worth... I Love You (Fic 6/?)
Sequel to: Not A Dream?
Prequel to: You Stalk Me, I Stalk You
Season: 4. Oz still left but Spike never got the chip. Tara & Willow aren't an item- since Oz only just left. Riley and Buffy are together. They all know he's a commando.
Pairing: Willow/Spike
Disclaimer: I own nada! Zippo! Bubkus! Nothing! Joss is the great ruler or all these wonderful things.
Archive: Ask me.
Dedication: Mina, Susanne and Vampie. My inspirers. Omega h for being a really great friend. Congrats!!! You know what I mean.
Notes: < > = Thoughts. * * = Emphasis. ~ ~ = Diary.

"Bye, Spike. Don't wreck the house!" Willow called out, grabbing her bag as she went to the door.

"Don't you trust me, Pet?" Spike asked, looking up from the magazine he was reading on the couch.

Willow paused. "No." She then moved out of the house with Spike laughing behind her. When he was sure she was gone he stood, dropping the magazine on the coffee table and moving to the window, looking out a tiny hole he made to see her walking out of sight. He sucked in his bottom lip before running upstairs to change clothes.

Willow arrived at Giles' house, ringing the doorbell. Xander answered and moved aside to let her in, which she did. "Hey, Willow. You have a safe walk over?" He asked in a pleasant tone.

She gave him a funny look. "What's wrong?"

He bent in near her ear. "Save me. Buffy is being all cave-slayer about Riley again." He muttered, moving away to follow her into his house.

"Hey, Guys!" She greeted when she saw her friends. "Buffy, Anya, Angel." She did a double-take. "A-Angel! He's evil, isn't he?"

"Willow." He sighed dramatically. "Why do I always have to be evil to be in Sunnydale?"

"You don't. It's just that whenever you're in Sunnydale bad things happen." Xander cleared, munching on some potato chips. "Oh, and I meant that *with* offence."

Angel rolled his eyes. "Nice to see you again, Willow." The vampire said with a small smile.

"What's wrong?" She asked, sitting on the sofa beside Buffy who was pouting.

"Angel showed up and ruined my date with Riley!" The slayer whined.

"Oh, uh, that's really bad Buffy but... I was asking Angel." Willow said as she turned back to look at the brunette on the sofa.

Buffy pouted even more. "Even my *friends* prefer Angel to me." She grumbled under her breath.

"Buffy..." Willow started saying then stopped, shaking her head to turn back to Angel. "What is it? Is there a demon?"

"Do you remember my friend Doyle? He got visions." Angel asked.

"Oh yeah. How is he?"

Angel looked down at his hands. "He's... dead. A few weeks ago. He died saving us." He said softly. "That's not the reason I'm here though. Doyle passed on the visions to Cordelia and now she gets them. The headaches that come with them as well. She saw everyone here in her vision as well as a blond that she couldn't put her finger on."

"Riley! Riley is blond!" The slayer piped up with a wide smile.

<Yeah, so's Spike.> Willow thought, keeping her mouth shut about it. <It *could* be Riley. She hasn't met him before... but what if she just couldn't remember Spike?> "Was he wearing any special clothing?" She asked, looking towards Angel.


"Riley!" Buffy said with an even wider smile, knowing what Angel's reaction would be but was surprised when he didn't give it.

The vampire rolled his eyes, looking back at Willow. "There's more. He was talking to a demon. She said green, slimy and scaly, with horns that..." He stopped, pulling two different pieces of paper from his trenchcoat, handing the one with a drawing on it to Willow as he read the other aloud. "made it look like it had a bad gel job." He looked up with a tiny smile, stuffing that piece of paper back in his pocket.

"This is a Brae demon." Willow said as she studied the picture.

"How the hell could you know that, Will?" Xander asked, standing near the kitchen as he returned with a drink for himself and Anya.

"I've... studied." The girl replied. She looked back down at the paper. "So, do we keep clear of it or do we kill it?"

"Wait, Riley wouldn't talk to a demon! He captures them! And... puts chips in their heads. He *doesn't* talk to them." The slayer protested.

"Bloody hell, Buffy, sod off!" Willow snapped, turning back to Angel once again. "Is it a danger to us?"

Everyone in the room stared at the red head, their mouths hanging open. "PMS." Anya quickly stated, seeing the slightly thankful look in the red head's eyes when she'd looked over at her. The group nodded, taking that as the reason. Angel, however, looked closely at Willow for a few moments.

"Why doesn't everyone just research the demon for strengths and weaknesses. I'll talk to Willow for a moment." Angel stood, walking towards the front door with Willow following behind him. They both walked outside, the door closing behind them. "What's wrong?"

"What? Why?"

"You just snapped at your best friend. There has to be something wrong. And I... don't... smell anything." He added softly. He motioned for her to sit and the both sat on the front step. "I can help you if you want."

"Oh, right, Angel Investigations. You help the hopeless. I talked to Cordy." The witch smiled.

Angel rolled his eyes and sighed. "You must be spending a lot of time with Giles. You're starting to sound like him. 'Sod Off'?"

"Oh no. We haven't seen each other that much. I mean, he's in England right now with the council. Before it was just study nights or when I need a spell book." Willow said.

"Then why are you saying 'bloody hell' and 'sod off'?" The vampire asked, turning to look at her.

"Uh... well, he's got me watching all these British shows and stuff. Maybe that's it." She said with a nervous smile.

He held her chin, turning her head to face him. "You're hiding something."

The red head sighed, looking down again. "Angel... I... have secrets. Lots of people do. I-I just... I have reasons that I don't want to say. You've got to understand. I mean, it's not like you just came up to us one night and said 'Oh, hey, I'm Angel. I'm a vampire'."

"But I'm a good vampire." Angel defended with a pout.

"Oh, well, yeah. Sometimes." Angel looked hurt. "Oh, not that I mean... I... oh goddess." Willow slumped a little further. "Please don't judge me. I know, I know, I'm Willow. I'm not supposed to have a suspicious bone in my body but can't I just have one secret from everyone without them doing everything in their power to find out what it is? I know they have them from me. It's natural. Just... don't try and find out... and don't tell the others."

Angel nodded. "I wasn't going to tell... or try to find out. I was sold when you said 'you've got to understand'." They both smiled at each other. Angel patted her leg before getting up. "Be safe, Willow. I don't know what I'd do if I lost a friend like you. Secrets or not." He tapped her chin up, making her smile, before walking back inside the house.

"You really wouldn't like *this* secret." She sighed, standing again to walk through the open door. <One more hour and then freedom! Back home to my own bed. Hopefully Buffy will be at Riley's.>

"Hey, Wills, Forrest has his girlfriend over at Riley's place tonight and... uh, Riley is kinda coming to stay at our room... would it be okay if you went... elsewhere?" Buffy asked hopefully.

Willow frowned. "Sure, Buffy." She mumbled, sitting down in her chair.

"Thanks, Wills." Buffy said, hugging her friend tightly in thanks.

"Whatever." The hacker replied with a heavy sigh as she picked up a book to start researching.

Half an hour later and Willow was bored. Angel had gone upstairs doing goddess knows what. The witch leant back in the armchair Angel had vacated and looked at her friends. She started to study them. <Buffy-fiddling with her hair. Bored and thinking of Riley. She always does that with her hair when she's thinking of him. Pursing her lips. That's a Buffy sign that says no one's paying attention to her right now and she doesn't like it.>

<Xander- sighing a lot. Doesn't want Anya touching him right here in front of his friends. Turns the pages sharply. He's getting fed up with something. He keeps on tightening his stomach muscles to the point of it being annoying! Ugh, okay, that would mean he's trying to think of something better to do or he thinks he should exercise. Though both are unbelievable in his case since he doesn't think or exercise at all.>

She smiled then looked at Anya. <Anya- drawing circles on Xander's shoulder. She's thinking of all the things she could be doing to him right now that doesn't involve books. Keeps on tapping her feet and crossing and un-crossing her legs. She's hyper and needs attention and to go somewhere. Move around a bit.>

"Hey, Buffy, why don't you go and get Riley, start the night out early. I'll keep up your share here." The slayer smiled widely, mouthing a 'thank you' to her as she grabbed her bag and left the apartment. Xander sighed heavily. "Xand, why don't you take Anya to the fair-grounds. Angel won't notice *you're* gone anyway." She smirked then added, "I'll make up some excuse for you. Anya, wait outside for him for a minute." Anya jumped up, practically running for the door, turning to wave to her before she went. "Xand, tire her out at the carnival... she'll be too tired to do anything else after." She smiled at him.

Xander nodded with a wide smile. "You're the best, Wills." He stated before running out of the house.

Angel came downstairs, his head stuck in a book. He looked up and frowned. "Where is everybody?"

"Oh, Buffy said she was going to get in a quick patrol and see if she could find any new lairs. Xander and Anya went to see Willy and find out if he'd heard something." She replied, flipping the page in a book. "Angel, I told you before, I know a few strengths and weaknesses if has. Throws fire, can't stand mud. Easy."

"Willow, I'd like us to be a little bit better prepared than fire and mud." The vampire replied.

Willow sighed. "Can we do this tomorrow night? When I'm not so tired? We'll be better prepared too!" She said, looking up at him hopefully with her pleading eyes.

Angel closed the book, nodding. "I'll walk you home. Where will you be staying?"

They both walked to the door. "Oh, my parent's place." She replied. <Spike!> "Uh, you don't have to you know. I can handle it. Really, I can." She said.

"You're not getting out of this. I don't want you getting hurt." He ushered her outside, closing the door behind him. Willow heard music inside the house when they got up on the porch. "Oh, I must've left the radio on before I left. I was in such a rush to go before the sun set." She said with a small smile. "Anyway, thanks." Angel started walking off as she walked inside, closing the door lightly behind her. When she turned back her mouth dropped.

Spike slid across the floor of the living room in his socks, boxer shorts and partially buttoned up red shirt with a brush in his hand. "Just take those old records off the shelf..." He started singing, "I'll sit an' listen to them by myself." He started dancing around the living room. "Today's music ain't got the same soul. I like that old time rock'n'roll."

"So do I." Willow said from the door.

Spike spun around, slipping from the lack of grip his socks on the hardwood floors and falling onto his butt. "Back early?" He asked from his position on the ground.

The red head started laughing uncontrollably as she dumped her bag on the ground. Spike glared up at her. "Spike!" She giggled. "Oh my god." She wiped the tears from her eyes after laughing so hard.

Spike stood, walking over to her. "It's not funny, Pet." He said in a level voice.

"Yes it is!" She started laughing again as she replayed the scene in her head. "Oh goddess!" She said as she caught her breath. The vampire walked over to the stereo and turned it down. "Don't worry, Spike. The view is fine." She hinted. <Please put some clothes on. Nice view but embarrassing!!!>

The vampire cocked an eyebrow at her, turning in a full circle as he showed off like on a catwalk. "Like what you see?" He asked, striking a pose. The red head rolled her eyes, ducking her head as her cheeks began flaming as she started to move towards the stairs. He moved from his pose as he watched her leave. "Oh really." He said aloud as he jogged to follow her. "Oh, Pe-et." He sang as she bolted up the stairs with him behind her. <Another night of tormenting the witch. Could my life be any better? Well, if I had a third slayer on my belt then I'd be happy but this is just fine.> He knocked on her door. "I'll force it open!" He called through her bedroom door.

The door unlocked and he saw Willow pouting. "Go away." She grumbled, going to close the door again.

He pushed the door open again and smiled wickedly at her. "Oh, no. I've still got a full half hour that I intend on using. Now, should I start with you liking me with less clothes on or should I go straight to the diary." An evil smirk formed on his lips.

Willow's mouth dropped. "No!" She gasped, her cheeks reddening even more.

"Okay, so I was lying, but you're giving me even more of a reason to read it!" He stated. Willow slammed the door in his face. "Ow." He hissed as the door ran over his toe. "Hell, Pet! You bloody..." The vampire stopped his sentence. "Luv," The blond began saying as he opened the door. "Red." He said again as he saw her at her desk on her laptop. "Who you talkin' to? One of those 'net friends you 'ave?"

"It's no one you know. Go away."

Spike closed the door behind him as he crept over to look over her shoulder. Then he began reading. <A bloody computer journal! So that's why I couldn't find it. ~Dear Diary, Angel's in town.~ Oh hell! ~Cordelia had a vision, since Doyle died, and it was about the Scooby gang, and then Riley talking to a Brae demon. He was in his fatigues at the time too so I'm just wondering what's going on. Maybe my suspicions were right. Maybe he is bad news. What if Spike was right about those two people we saw Riley with at the restaurant? It's something military. It might not be the Initiative but it's something military, I know it! Anyway, on the topic of Spike. He's a real pain in the ass. Won't leave me alone. Thinks he's hot stuff, when he's *not*!~ Oi! ~So, I caught him singing and dancing in his boxers and shirt. Goddess, it looked *so* weird. Like one of those wiggy dreams people have that put things you never think you'd see in there. As I was saying... Spike's a real bastard and thinks that I don't know he's reading my diary.~> The girl turned to look over her shoulder at him. "Uh, 'ello, Pet." He smiled sweetly at her before quickly moving out of the room.

Willow deleted everything past 'Anyway,' and started from there.

~On to the topic of Spike. I caught him in his boxers. Not only that! This morning I saw him in just a towel after he'd had a shower! I *so* thought I was going to faint. I wouldn't have been surprised if I did. His chest... *sigh* and his legs even! His arms... I could've drooled but I thankfully didn't. It's the kind of time when you just wish your mother had bought shorter towels. My mother would think it's indecent though so I guess I can only dream.

Maybe I can buy new towels from the funds my parents gave me and chuck out the old ones! Yeah! Then Spike would have no choice but to walk around in a short towel! Oh, but what if I just chuck the towels out and *not* buy replacements?

Okay, now I'm just being naughty. I think I like these naughty thoughts. Well, I should go to bed now. Goodnight, Diary!

Love Always, Willow.~ The witch closed her computer diary and encoded it, so Spike couldn't open it, she closed her laptop and got ready for bed.

Everyone had secrets. Spike had singing and dancing in his underwear, Angel had his past, Giles had his singing at the coffee shop, Buffy had her 'chosen one' status, Xander had his obsession for candy canes, Anya also had her past... Willow had secrets too. The fact that she liked her alternate reality self- minus the vampire part, her need to be wanted and needed and her naughty thoughts about Spike half-naked. She wondered how she got over Oz so quickly when only a few days prior she'd wanted Spike to just kill her. Things on the hellmouth were never explainable.