CAUSE YOUR HEART'S AS PROFOUND AS A MINE (LOVE LETTERS part III)
(c) JEL, 1999
Italics Indicates a letter

Obi-Wan was sitting alone in the quarters he shared with his Master. He was in a rare temper, his mood taking on dimensions almost close to anger. Master Windu had informed him most courteously this morning that it would be at least another two weeks before he could expect Qui-Gon back.

As if he had not been separated from his lover long enough already. He wished Master Yoda had told him. The little creature seemed to understand him, had been so supportive in the past weeks, cheering him up, obviously enjoying the fact that his former student was in love with Obi-Wan and sharing in the heartache the young man had felt each time he had received a letter - and nothing more.

The door chime interrupted his brooding on what he could would to the Council if he only got the chance. Master Yoda. That meant there was bad news.

"Fine, he is. A letter I have for you. Enjoy it, you will. I hope. Worry not, you must. Back soon, he will be." The ancient Jedi patted Obi-Wan's hand encouragingly, laying the crumpled envelope on the sofa beside him.

The young Padawan nodded, reading the address Padawan Kenobi. Suite 4456. Jedi Temple. Coruscant, 78976 - it was better than not to hear from Qui-Gon at all. But he was sure going to be glad to have his lover home, in his arms and his bed again.

He missed his Master, and he was worried. Master Yoda knew, he felt the anguish in him, the uncertainty about his lover's fate that gnawed on him. He managed a wan smile, but the other Jedi had already left the room. Obi-Wan softly ran his hand across the paper at his side. Qui-Gon had touched it not so long ago.

He sighed as he opened the envelope and took out the sheets filled with the beautiful handwriting that reminded him so much of every movement his beloved made - strong, bold and powerful.

Dear love, I hope this will be the last time I have to write, and that next time I feel I have to talk to you I can just stand in front of you, look into your eyes and see you smile when I tease you. It's cold tonight. It's the weather this time and I wish you could be here.

Negotiations are dire and I have to be alert every second of the day...and the night. I can't remember having slept more than two hours together lately and when I get home...I hope I won't have to.

Obi-Wan knew exactly what mischievous thoughts had been going through his Master's mind as he wrote the last sentence and how warm a smile had lit up his features, smoothed out the frown on his brow. He grinned broadly, then read on.

Have I told you lately how special you are to me? I might have mentioned it in my last letters. I can't be sure. I forget what I write, it's so important and yet I have no time to remember it -maybe you could ask Yoda if I couldn't have a little holiday when I get back.

Just so we can spend some time together. I'm sure it's possible and he would understand. I've been working hard and so have you. He might really give us the chance to get away; it would be lovely to simply sit and talk once again. I have no more time for this letter, I just wanted to tell you that I love you and will be home as soon as I can -with you, where I belong, love. Qui-Gon.

Another declaration of love. As if the last two letters had not sufficed to lift Obi-Wan onto a cloud in seventh heaven, knowing he was so deeply loved by his Master was wonderful enough, but to have proof of it in writing, in such tender letters, directed more to his heart and soul than his person. The young man smiled involuntarily. He would make his lover proud.

And that meant a little meditation on his anger at the world in general and the Council in particular for keeping them apart this evening and then a long day full of cleaning up the old library tomorrow. He still was not done. Though he supposed being alone and having time to himself was better right now - he would not have liked being locked up with a group of screaming children for most of the day.

It was not that he did not like children. They were quite ok as long as he was in a good mood and/or prepared to accept his nerves being trampled upon and his patience tried to breaking point. And as long as he had a loving Master to come back to in the evening, someone who would massage the pressure out of his shoulders and...the door chime sounded again.

Obi-Wan opened and found himself face-to-face - knee to face to be exact - with Master Yoda. "Sorry to disturb you, I am. News I have for you. Best to tell you myself, I thought."

The young man's face creased in worry. This was not good at all. His master was...what? Hurt? He would have felt that, or would he not?

"Come back, Qui-Gon will not. Sent on another mission, he was. My idea this was not. Approve of it I cannot. Listen to me, no one will."

"Can I go to him?"

Yoda shook his head. "Not possible this is. Patient, you must be. Call him back I will. As soon as possible." Obi-Wan bowed low, touched by the Jedi Master's concern for his and his lover's feelings. "Send transmissions, Qui-Gon must not. Write to you, he must not. Sorry I am about this."

The Padawan nodded his understanding. So that was why Yoda was so indignant. He did not like this new mission. "Master Qui-Gon has asked me to request a holiday from you, Master Yoda." Politely, respectfully - the way a council member had to be - ought to be addressed.

"We would both appreciate a little time for each other." A personal note, said in a low voice, softly, directed at the friend Obi-Wan knew he and his lover had in the little creature that stood before him, tapping the floor with his stick.

"Acceptable this is. Tell the council I will. A holiday you will have. TThis time, contradict me they will not."

The young man grinned as he heard the imminent reproof the other council members were going to receive in the stubborn tone and the hard tap of the stick on the floor.

"Thank you, Master Yoda."

"Thank me, you need not. Understand you I do. Old I may be, forgotten about love I have not." He chuckled. "Leave you alone now, I will. Come if you need me, I will."

Obi-Wan would have liked to hug the Jedi Master, tell him how much his consideration and respect for them meant to him. But he thought it would be slightly improper and he was not exactly sure if the little creature would welcome such an action.

"Thank you." was all he said. At the dismissive wave of Yoda's hand he smiled.

Three days had passed. Three long days and even longer nights. Obi-Wan was working hard at the library, controlling his temper - if he had not been a Jedi, he would have been seething with anger. He felt the danger his lover was in. And there was nothing he could do. Only last night he had been able to sleep for a few hours without the threat to Qui-Gon's life rushing through him and keeping him awake.

The young man was so lost in his thoughts he did not notice the little shadow in the doorway. When Yoda cleared his throat audibly to attract his attention, he almost jumped. "Oh, I, I'm sorry, I didn't hear you."

"Delivery to your quarters, there has been. Needed there you are now. Take this with you, you must. Read it tomorrow morning you will." Obi-Wan took the crumpled brown paper, wondering for a moment how the ancient Jedi managed to always crumple every message he carried in his pocket.

He bowed, excusing himself and strode towards his quarters. He could not remember having ordered anything, and he was sure neither had his Master. He shook his head - well, at least it would be something to keep him occupied for the rest of the day. He keyed in the access code and stepped into the living room, stopping short at the sight of a rumpled brown cloak on the floor.

"Qui-Gon?" His voice betrayed the hope that flooded his heart - could it really be? "Qui-Gon!" He grinned foolishly as he flung himself in the open arms of the man standing on the threshold.

"Careful, love. You're heavier than you think." Teasing him, as usual. Obi-Wan did not care in the least. He had his lover back, warm arms around him, holding him tight and safe.

"You're tired." The other man nodded.

"I just took a shower. Yoda said he'd fetch you." A slow grin spread over Obi-Wan's face.

"All he told me was that there had been a delivery to our quarters -if I had known he was referring to you, I'd have..." He was cut off in mid-sentence by a soft kiss. When he finally managed to disentangle himself, he shoved his Master back towards the bedroom.

"You'll sleep now. We can talk tomorrow morning and...we'll see what else we can do." A mischievous glint in his green-blue eyes betrayed his other intents.

His lover grinned. "As you wish, my Padawan."

Obi-Wan woke with a start, as someone tickled his side. He squirmed, and then laughed as he opened his eyes to find his Master's deep blue gaze on him. "I was afraid you were only a dream."

"I'm sure I can rectify this mistake, love." The young man grinned, then he reached towards the nightstand, taking the crumpled brown paper.

"Before I forget, Master Yoda told me to read this in the morning."

Slept well, you have I hope. Three weeks off duty you both are. Enjoy it, you must. Not want to see you on Coruscant, I do. Transport to Imm'tscha I have booked. Leave at noon, it does. Late, you should not be. Yoda

The two Jedi chuckled. "I didn't know he wrote the way he talked."

"Yoda's full of surprises love. I believe we should pack. Though we won't need much - Imm'tscha is, as far as I know just a heap of sand and sea in the middle of the galaxy."

"I wish I knew when you got this...expressive...in your language."

"You don't find this poetic? Only expressive? I will have to work on it then."

After boarding the transport to the remote little planet of Imm'tscha, the Jedi Master disappeared in their suite at once, leaving his Padawan to arrange all the details. When Obi-Wan came back, he smiled. "So, what have you planned for the duration of this trip, love?"

"Many things, Master. But first of all I'd like to ask you something." An encouraging nod motioned for him to proceed. "All those things you wrote to me...you meant them?"

"Certainly, love. Every word." Obi-Wan's brilliant smile lightened up his features. He looked at his lover for a long moment, and then sat down opposite him on the floor, cross-legged, gazing into the other man's eyes.

"I have a few things to tell you as well, Qui-Gon. I wanted to do that on our anniversary, but I never got the chance." His Master smiled, nodding.

"I...you know I love you. And I thought of you every moment you were away. But what touched me most, and made me most happy was that you wrote to me. It was so special to have you write down what you felt. To see it in front of my eyes, be able to re-read it as often as I chose - and to know it was meant only for me."

His smile deepened, a twinkle came stole itself into his eyes.

"And I was proud to know that you feel you can trust me enough to let go while you're with me. That you would cry on my shoulder, if you needed someone to comfort you. That you enjoyed all the crazy things you said I made you do, but let me tell you - it wasn't always my idea to behave silly and undignified. If you remember, Qui-Gon, you were the one who insisted we wear the locals' costumes that time we were on Alandira - and though I must say you looked absolutely lavishly in those red leggings, if the council had seen you...."

"Oh, I remember it, love. But you must admit that the really bad ideas usually come from you."

"Sure. As you say, Master. Have I ever told you that I'm crazy about your smile? Qui-Gon! You're not blushing, are you?"

"It seems that this particular compliment was one that I hadn't expected."

"You're all I could ever want, Qui-Gon. You know that I was reluctant to begin a relationship with you at first?"

"You were? I had no idea, I hope I didn't..."

"No, it wasn't any persuasion on your part. It was more like that I was afraid of losing you - I mean I loved you, I was willing to give myself up to you utterly and completely."

"And yet - if you hadn't given me time, Qui-Gon, I believe we wouldn't be together now. You let me decide. Told me what you felt and you didn't act upon it. You waited for me. Did you know that that was exactly what I wanted?"

"No, love. But I'm glad I didn't hurry you. Not having you by my side would have made a great difference in my life - and not for the better I might add."

Obi-Wan smiled. "I love you."

"And I you. Come here, love."

The young man chuckled as he dived into the offered embrace, his lips seeking those of his lover. This was exactly what he had been dreaming about the last weeks.

"Happy they are. Feel it I can." A soft chuckle made his way to the surface as the ancient Jedi Master stood at the huge window of the library, looking at the late afternoon sun casting shadows across the Coruscant skyline and talked to no one in particular. "Wish they had more time, I do."

The End (this time for good) ;-)

You liked the story? Then check out the other 2 stories in this series - "I Love the Way You Love Me" and "Sunsets"

Inspired by this lovely song from Austrian Singer Rainhard Fendrich:

Weus'd a Herz hast wia Bergwerk

Weu du stolz bist, wenn du wanst, weilst di trotzdem zuwilahnst,
wuell i di
Weu ma warm wird, wenn du lachst, und an herbst zum summa mochst,
wuell i di

Weu a bissl glueck fuer di no lang net reicht, weus'd bei mir
bleibst, wenn der beste freund si
Schleicht, weus'd a herz hast, wia bergwerk, weus'd a wahnsinn bist
fuea mi, steh i auf di.

Weu i mit dir old wern kann, weu ma ewig kinda san, brauch i di
Weus'd des brennen in mir fuehlst, und mi nie besitzen wuehlst,
brauch i di
Weus'd den grund warumst bei mir bist nimma wast, weus'd an mir afach
an narren gfressen
Hast, weu i nur bei dir daham bin, weus'd a wahnsinn bist fuea mi,
steh i auf di

Weu a bissl glueck fuer di no lang net reicht, weus'd bei mir
bleibst, wenn der beste freund si
Schleicht, weus'd a herz hast, wia bergwerk, weus'd a wahnsinn bist
fuea mi, steh i auf di
Weus'd a herz hast, wia bergwerk, weus'd a wahnsinn bist fuea mi,
steh i auf di

Cause Your Heart's as Profound as a Mine

I want you, cause you're proud when you cry, cause you lean on me all
the same
I want you, cause I feel warm when you laugh and make summer out of
autumn

I'm in love with you, cause a little happiness isn't nearly enough
for you, cause you stay with
Me when the best friend leaves, cause your heart's as profound as a
mine, cause you're so
special to me.

I need you, cause I can grow old with you, cause we'll always be kids
I need you, cause you sense the burning inside of me and never seek
to own me
I'm in love with you, cause you can't remember the reason why you're
with me, cause you're
Simply mad about me, cause I'm only home when I'm with you, cause
you're so special to Me.

I'm in love with you, cause a little happiness isn't nearly enough
for you, cause you stay with
Me when the best friend leaves, cause your heart's as profound as a
mine, cause you're so
special to me. I'm in love with you cause your heart's as profound as
a mine, cause you're so
special to me.

The song "Weus'd a Herz hast wia Bergwerk" ("Cause Your Heart's as Profound as a Mine") can be found on the album "Lieder mit Gefuehl" by the Austrian singer Rainhard Fendrich (copyright 1994 BMG Ariola Media GmbH), I'm personally responsible (;-D) for the transcript and translation. - No copyright infringement is intended.