SUNSETS (LOVE LETTERS part II)
(c) JEL, 1999
Italics Indicates a letter

Obi-Wan groaned. Another endlessly long day at the library - well, at least it was something to do. His Master would not be back in the course of the next week or two - that was what Master Windu had told him yesterday when he had asked.

After he had read the wonderful letter Qui-Gon had addressed to him for their first year anniversary he had been so keen on holding his lover again, to tell him how he felt, and - as for the duration of that mission - any contact over the training bond or otherwise was not permitted all he could do was wait and keep his mind on the tasks he had been given in the hope they would help him to pass the time.

When Obi-Wan sat down to a quick lunch on one of the library's huge windowsills, he noticed Yoda standing in the doorway, scanning the room for someone. He sighed.

"Can I help you, Master Yoda?"

The little Jedi Master turned his eyes on him, chuckled and came towards him, seemingly pulling himself along on his stick.

"Seek you, I did. Letter, you got. Give it to you, I wanted."

As Obi-Wan accepted another crumpled envelope from the pocket of the Master's tunic, Yoda turned around and, still chuckling, left the library, only to stop on the threshold for a moment and add: "A poet I never thought he was. Now in love, he is and write he does." and he departed in a volley of chuckles that echoed in the quiet of the rooms.

Obi-Wan could not help grinning himself. He had hardly ever seen Yoda so...merry. His eyes had sparkled with mirth and his chuckles were a rare sign of his humour - he usually kept his countenance and composure as strictly serene and unaffected that many had called him cold, or even callous.

But the young man knew better - not only from Qui-Gon's stories, but from his own experience as well. When his Master was on a longer mission and he was left on his own, the little creature often came to check on him and spend some time with him.

Padawan Kenobi. Suite 4456. Jedi Temple. Coruscant, 78976 So he had got another letter from his lover. That could only mean he would be gone for some time yet. Obi-Wan sighed. He missed Qui-Gon urgently - well, a letter was better than nothing.

Dear love,
Last night I dreamt of you and that picture can't be replaced by anything else. It brought many things to my mind and mostly what I thought of as I watched you sleeping the night before I left; it was then, my love, that I realized that all I really wanted was to stay with you. I didn't care for anything else, not for the mission, however important it might be, not for the approval of the council -you were all that counted.

My mind was filled with images of you, of us - making love, holding each other, your snuggling close when it's cold and drawing the blanket over the both of us.
And I wanted to get away, to be alone with you, to have the time I crave so much - so I can spend it with you and have you all to myself.

I pictured you and me on a beach that stretched to the horizon; the sea the colour of your eyes, deep and dark as they are when we make love and the sun burned down on us and warmed us as we slept. We were far away from Coruscant, the temple, and the council - no mission before us, just you and me all alone, living with and for each other.

We sat beside a fire at night and told each other trivial stories about our life, little episodes we hadn't shared before. It was something we normally wouldn't have the time to do, to just exchange pleasantries, talk about nothing in particular and still feel as if we were saying things of the utmost importance.

We slept in each others arms on the warm, soft sand and when we woke the sun was rising in a massive sea of reddish gold and orange clouds danced on the winds. We went swimming and dried each other off as we rolled entwined across the ground.

Master Yoda certainly was right. Though how he could have known without reading the letter - still, Obi-Wan was impressed. He had never believed his oh so dignified Master could have a poetic streak in him - or a romantic one for that matter. This was...interesting. The young man wet his lips thoughtfully as he replayed the images in his own mind - that sure was a dream worth having. He grinned, returning his attention to the bold handwriting before him.

On waking up right in the middle of this dream I was angry. I used a calming technique, even meditated for a while and then I had the cause in my hands, open in my mind - I was jealous.

Not of anyone in particular, no, only of those who can spend time with their loved ones whenever they chose. Those that can simply be and don't have to consider public opinion or the good of others at all times. It has passed. But it simply being there was disturbing.

I miss you so much, my love. There is no way I can describe it. I miss your laugh, the smirk that's only visible in your eyes, your voice, the way you breathe my name in my ear when we're very close. I wish there was something more I could send you, not just these bleak, bare words. My dream was so vivid, so full of life, like you, my love.

I was with you and I was complete. The people here say that roses are a token of love. I have never seen flowers like this - they are very interesting. You know, beautiful, some red, others yellow - though I like a sort that has petals of so dark a red that they look as if they were black. I've included a bud in this letter - but be careful, there are thorns on the stem - beautiful and stubbornly prickly, like you, my love, when you're in one of your "moods".

Sith, that man knew him too well for his own good. Obi-Wan took out the small flower. He felt the silky petals, soft like his lover's hair to his touch. He held the rose against his heart for a moment, and then tugged it inside his tunic, closest to his skin. The cool, endlessly gentle brush of the plant reminded him of Qui-Gon, his hands on his body, his lips caressing every inch.

It would not take very much longer. He had to think of his lover coming home. It could not be much longer. Only another week, two at most. He just had to keep going until then.

I'm cold at night love. Not because the weather's bad or I haven't got a warm blanket. It's quite hot in fact, but I miss having you close. It's not even your body heat I crave most, it's your mind, and your love I need to have by my side.

Useless to say that I' always thinking of you, it's just not the same as your being here. There I go, telling you how hard it is for me, when you're most likely reduced to a heap of misery by the work the council has found for you - the children? Or have they decided you'd be better off helping out at some institution? Sifting through files this time, love?

No, wait. I heard Yoda talk about the library needing to be cleaned -they didn't put you to the task, did they? That makes my own work seem less difficult.

Obi-Wan smiled involuntarily. So like his Qui-Gon not to forget about him. He understood his lover so well. He missed him so much. And he wanted to hold him, know he was close by, could be with him any moment, kissing him, loving him. He shook his head. No good dwelling on what he couldn't have for some time yet. Better finish reading the letter, and then get back to work.

I'm looking out at the sunset as I write this. It reminds me of my dream. Though the planet I'm on is not very hospitable they have lovely sunsets. I wish I could describe to you what I see - the colours, the glow in the sky as the sun blazes a blood-red and the sky changes from blue to golden orange, hues of red underlined with yellow and just a touch of violet.

The sky's darkening at this moment, the red becomes almost as black as the rose I sent you and the sun sets as if it were going to sleep. That's what I should be doing myself, love, so I wish you all the best, my thoughts are with you and I'll keep the last night we were together fresh in my mind, till you give me some more moments I can cherish - take care Qui-Gon

Obi-Wan smiled. No "may the force be with you". The Master had been put aside again - this was the lover who was writing the letter. And he could not say that he did not like it. This was one of the reasons he loved his Qui-Gon for - he knew when to put aside his role as a teacher and act on the moment, on his emotions.

As the young man thought of acting, his glance fell on the library, the huge shelves and the millions of books on the floor. It had taken him days - and the Force - to get all of them out of the shelves -now he had to catalogue them and put them back - all in order.

For a moment he wondered if the mission his lover was on might not be one that would last for a few months. Not at any rate uncommon he did not like the idea of not seeing Qui-Gon for such a long time. A soft shuffling made him look up. Yoda stood on the threshold.

"Know when he will come back, I do not. The council knows not. Complicated, the mission is. Much to do there remains. Hurry back, he will."

Obi-Wan smiled despite the loneliness these words flung over him.

"How do you always know what I'm thinking, Master Yoda?"

"Think like Qui-Gon, you do. In many matters, him I see in you and you in him. Alike you are. Souls exchanged you have, not only hearts. Belong to each other you do. True love this is. Enough time you will never have, if Jedi you remain."

Obi-Wan nodded. This was one of the things he and Qui-Gon had never talked about. But, judging from the letter he held in his hand, they had similar ideas on the topic. Though neither of them would, could ever trade their life as Jedi for a "normal, safe" one they could share - however much they loved each other.

"We'll have to find time. But we've already made our choice. We've got a path to follow - we'll be Jedi first, then lovers and in the end..."

"One with the Force you will be. United for eternity, you will be." Obi-Wan nodded, a smile on his lips. "Need help, you do?"

"No, thank you, Master Yoda. I'll be just fine now."

The little Jedi Master chuckled. "Some poetry of my own there is. Hear it, you want?"

The young man grinned. "That would be great!"

"Never tell the council, you must! Undignified, I am now. First poem of mine, this is. Force, called it is. Wake up, I do, the Force in my eyes, it is."

Obi-Wan chuckled as he began cataloguing and arranging the books, listening to Master Yoda rambling on about the Force being in his eyes at every possible moment of the day. He was only glad, the Jedi Master did not believe himself to be a great poet - it was hard enough to keep a straight face as it was - wait till he told Qui-Gon about this.

The End (for now)

You liked the story? Then check out the other 2 stories in this series - "I Love the Way You Love Me" and "Cause your heart's as profound as a mine".

Sonnenuntergaenge

I moecht' mit dia dorthin wo'd sun daham is, damits uns unsa kaeltn aussabrennt
Dort, wo der himmel wi a schwarzer sand is, soll ma passiern was i versamen koennt.
I zaehl auf deiner haut die wassertropfen, du schenkst ma dann dafuea a lachn ein -
Mia koenntn mitanand ins leben hupf und endlich amoa selbstverstaendlich sein.

Der einsamkeit moecht i in die goschn tretn, dass endlich amoa spuert was wehtuan kann -
Und nebensaechlichkeiten, nebensaechlichkeiten moecht i redn - du hoerst ma zua, als ob
Sie wichtig warn. I moecht mit dia auf weissen Straenden tanzen und horchn, wia des blut in
Dir pulsiert. Und lauter klane schwarze rosen moecht i pflanzen -ane, fuea jeden tag an
Dem di gfriert.

I moecht da sonnenuntergaenge schenken, so rot, dass da die augen uebergehn und dann mit dia in
Ana nacht versinken, in der ma alles gspuert und nix versteht.

Sunsets

I'd like to go with you where the sun lives, so it'll burn our cold away
There, where the sky's like heavy sand, I want that to happen what I might miss.
I count the water drops on your skin; you pour me a laugh in return -
We could jump into life together and finally, for once be perfectly natural.

I want to knock out loneliness, so that feels for once how much it can hurt -
And trivialities, trivialities are what I'd like to talk about - you listen to me as if
They were important. I want to dance with you on white beaches and listen to the
Blood pulsating in you. And I want to plant nothing but little black roses - one for
Each day that you're cold.

I want to give sunsets to you, so red your eyes will overflow and then I want to
Drown with you in a night where you feel everything and understand nothing.

The song "Sonnenuntergaenge" ("Sunsets") can be found on the album "Lieder mit Gefuehl" by the Austrian singer Rainhard Fendrich (copyright 1994 BMG Ariola Media GmbH) - the transcript and translation was made by me (so all the mistakes therein are my fault ;-)) No copyright infringement is intended.