Title: Yester Life: The Cleanse|
Author: Kia Mira
Fandom: X-Men (movie)
Rating: Come on it's me. You know it is NC-17.
Summary: Rogue must under go a massive cleansing of the soul in hopes of gaining control of her power.
Series: #10 in the "Yester Life" series
Category: Logan and Rogue Non-brotherly/Non-sisterly love
Disclaimer: I don't own them, but if I did this would have been the movies plot.
Notes: The details of this cleanse are from my mind and have their base in many different beliefs. What can I say I'm schizophrenic. LOL Enjoy.
Another thing: If you are reading this and want me to follow canon. You need to exit now because I don't need no stinkin' canon. In Canon Logan is an Ass and Rogue is a southern belle. And we won't be havin' any of that here.
Okay On with the sequel...
Rogue's stomache growled and she put her hand on it to stop the sound. She was getting ready to eat her own hand if they didn't end this fast soon.
It had been three days since she had awakened in Logan's arms. Three day's since the shower and Charles Xavier's office. With a growl of frustration she flopped back on her bed she closed her eyes and breathed deepily. They said it would help to stave of the hunger.
"Yeah, that and a bag o' chips,' she muttered. With a heavy sigh she turned onto her stomache and picked up her drawing pad. At times like these when the strain of the cleanse got to much she would pick up her scetches and wile away the time. At the last minute she tossed the scetch pad on the ground and picked up her journal instead.
It was one of the only thing's she was aloud to do. The 'Thou Shalt Not's' were starting to far out way the 'Thou Shalt's', but she stuck to them, because the Professor had said it was impairative that the cleanse be preformed correctly if they were to have any sort of success.
"You will have to under go a week long fast. That means only water for one week." When she had questioned the professor he said, "The first week of the cleanse is the most important and abstaince is the key."
She still laughed when she remembered the look that crossed Logan's face. He knew what abstance meant and he didn't like that word one bit. He had narrowed his eyes on Xavier and said, "I hope you aren't telling us to just say no!"
Rogue knew the minute that he regretted his insistance that he go through the cleanse with her. It had been just moments after the 'A' word was used that Xavier clarified what he meant. With his very own set of the Ten Commandments.
Where was I? I think I was in the middle of the, 'Ten Commandment's.
THOU SHALT NOT eat
Oh, the Professor didn't say THOU SHALT NOT, but you could just see it attached to each decree that left his mouth. Logan had a caniption about the cigars and finally the Professor said he could hold it in his mouth so long as he didn't light it.
And so it has been three days since the cleansing started. How she asked herself did they expect you to keep commandment number eight when commandments one, four and five were getting under your skin?
SPEAKING OF SKIN...I laughed so hard when I got called to the infirmary shortly after the meetin'. I know I shouldn't have, but if you could only see what I saw. There strapped down to a gurney was Logan. His eyes blazin'. He had come to Jean to have her disolve the latex. Come to find out. There isn't a disolvin' agent. It has to be.. get this...PEELED off. Think hot wax at the beauty shop. My mom used to have her upper lip waxed. But that has nothin' to do with this story. Anyway, Logan broke number eight within an hour of leavin' the Professor's office. I think the hair is startin' to grow back on his arms and legs, and I hope it grows back on his chest. For all my look at it this ways, to Logan, I really liked the hair on his chest. When he left he was muttering somethin' about Thank God for BVD's.
Only two more days to go. I think I'll record my cleanse in here. So, I'll see ya tomorrow.
Well, I finally broke number eight! It has been four days. Four days with only water and I was startin' to see food everywhere. I have just stopped goin' down stairs at the normal times 'cause I have the will power of a gnat.
But I figured it has been four whole days. I don't even feel hungry. I keep tellin' myself that hopin' I might believe me and give up on the cravin's. Any way I get down stairs and they are all in the kitchen bakin' cookies.
Bobby who is to blond for his own good. (LOL-just for you Angel Face;-) walks up and says. You want one. Do I want one?! I yelled. OF course I want one you ninny. I haven't eatin' in four whole days. What planet are you livin' on?
Logan was very amused. That is until I told him they were plannin' to grill steak fer dinner. I saw his eyes glaze over and then his face fell. We ended up in the common room playing foozeball.
Well, I have to go. Logan is teachin' me how to play poker tonight.
Rogue watched as he chewed on the cigar his eyes onhis cards a smile on his face. He was such a cocky fellow.
"I'll see your bet and raise you ten." he muttered around the cigar. She glanced down at her own cards and then back at him. She had a good hand a pair of kings and three aces. She knew that he was letting her win, but he didn't know that she knew. So she tossed the required scrapes of paper in the center of the table.
"Now, you say call." he instructed.
"Call." He put his cards on the table. He had two of a kind. She looked at her cards with a puzzled expression and then said in a haevy southern drawl, "I have two kings and three of those ace things." she smiled just a little over her exagerated accent. "Is that good?"
He looked up and realized that she knew he was fixin' the cards. "Yeah, Angel Face, it's good."
Rogue stretched her arms and legs trying to releave the fatigue that was over coming her body, but lack of food and the tension that was runnin' so close to the surface these days was to much for her body. Stretching her left leg she accidentally bumped into Logan's leg and instantly her fatigue was gone. Replaced by the simmering tension they had been holdin' in check for to long. She noticed the fire that lit Logan's eyes at the slight touch and a smile slid across her face.
Perhaps it was a little devil or just a remnant of the man in front of her left after two mergings that had her running her socked foot up his calf. Logan sure seemed to like it. He was tryin' really hard to ignore the feelin's her wayward toes were dredgin' up.
The shiver that went through her body had nothin' to do with the cool night breeze that drifted in through the open window on the other side of the room. It had everything to do with the tension that was coiling hotly low in her belly. It was becoming harder to push her toes up his calf. It was like her leg was suddenly made of lead. Her eyes half closed from the heat that had spread to quickly up her leg. Her face flushed.
She would have been embaressed to learn that she looked wanton. He looked at her and he could feel the animal inside him that was raging to be loosed. His breath was uneven as she slid her foot up his calf ever slower. He couldn't take it anymore he had withstood all he could. Capturing her foot at his knee he massaged the instep with firm fingers and she jumped.
"Still the same." he murmured as he slowly slid his right hand from her ankle to her knee. Rogue stopped breathing for a moment and let her eyes fall shut. She was giving thanks to who or what ever made her wear pants tonight. "I know it's here." Her eyes flew open as his fingers grazed the inner side of her calf.
"Log-an?" her eyes were heavy with desire when he was releasing her foot and stood. She froaned not understandin' why he had stopped. He put out a hand to her and she grasped it unsteadily.
"Easy, baby," he said as he pulled her to him her face pressing into his maroon shirt. "We can wait. I've waited waited 85 years to find you again. I can wait a month."
"But I-," her voice was muffled by his shirt and her need.
"Angel Face, believe me this will only make it better. The anticipation of the fulfillment only strengthen's the desire inside us. You remember the dream. The one from the forest?"
She nodded from her place in his arms. Who would have thought Logan Woolf was being level headed. He hugged her to him even closer and said huskily, "When we finally come together. It will be a hundred times more glorious than that day." Tears formed in her eyes and he wished he could wipe them away.
She smiled a twinkle inher eye, "You just don't want to lose that bet on who'll break the next, 'Thou Shalt Not'.
"I know I'll win. I don't have to resort to smooth talking to try and secure my place as victor." He stepped away from her. "You go on up to bed."
"What about you?" she whipped the tears from her eyes and glanced up at him.
"I'll go to bed later. I have some things to do in the garage." She turned and started to leave but stopped when she heard him mutter about needing to lift a car. "Why in the world would anyone want to try and lift a car?" she called after him. He stopped turned around a pained look on his face. He opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it. Then turning he tossed back over his shoulder, "I'll tell you on your birthday."
I can finally eat again! I have been to busy this last week to write anything down. We made it through the fast and we are now in the last stages of the body purification.
Storm is in charge of this weeks schedule. Yesterday she had us sitting in individule pots of mud. It smelled like rotten eggs that were left out in the sun. She said that it was helpful in relaxing the body and I must say other than having my sense of smell obliterated I think my body is so relaxed I might never convince it to move again.
Today we are supposed to be getting pebbled. It is kind of odd. I personally don't get it. Storm said that when some one in her tribe was troubled in their soul they would place stones on their bodies and think about ridding their soul of the bad vibe. She said they burn herbs and things to make insence. And for hours they lay focusing the negative energy through the stone portals.
When I discribed pebbling to Logan he just laughed and said, "are you sure she didn't say stoned? You better watch out or you might break number seven."
I guess I should just give up hope of writin' here everyday. It has been three days since the pebbling and we just finished a two day sweat. My hair is all oily and I smell like a teenage boy's gym shoe. The only good part about this whole sweat thing was sittin' next to a half naked Logan. Well, at least across the hogan from him. Number eight was in great danger of bein' broken. I certianly hope fanisizin' doesn't count. 'Cause all I could think about was that chest. Oh, and the hair is growin' in just fine. I tell you the man is lethal. I wonder if he had the same trouble? Well, I gotta go take a shower. Only one week left. I'm a little afraid. Wonder if it doesn't work? I know Logan thinks it is all goin' to workout. I better get a move on.
Rogue sat as still as possible while breathing deepily and trying to clear her mind. She was supposed to be meditating, but she couldn't clear her mind. Tonight was the last night of clensing and she was feeling tension spread throughout her body again. Over the last four weeks she had come to know herself better than she had before.
For instance she found that she absolutly hated self-deprivation. She loved yoga, but hated the Lotus Position. Logan called it the pretzel. They had learned Tia Chi and yoga together. She learned during yoga that she was very flexible, and that she liked that glazed look that came over Logan's face when ever she did something that turned him on.
Stiffling a giggle she thought back to Jean's attempt to discuss the birds and the bees with her. It had all started out very Doctorly. She had brought pictures and diagrams. They had both been embaressed. Rogue felt an overwhelming desire for Logan. She remembered some of the memories she had gained from Logan and she knew that in her past life they had done these things, but in this life she was still seventeen an admittedly mature seventeen, but seventeen all the same. She felt old when it came to other things though. She liked Bobby, but he just seemed so young to her. That is what her gift had done to her. Made her forever disjointed. She felt light years to mature for the people her own age and to young for the man she loved. Setting aside the hundred and four years old and just using the age he looked he was still a good eighteen years her senior.
Though she felt unsure she knew without a doubt that she was going to be with Logan. The Professor said that they would start off the touch therapy tomorrow with a regression session in which Regressor would merge with Logan and bring him into her mind. While they were linked Logan would try to touch her. The theory was that while the souls were together the barrier might be lessened. There by letting his flesh touch hers without the barrier deflecting him and intwining their souls once more. With a heavy sigh she gave up trying to clear her mind and just flopped back in the bed to try and sleep.
She was just about to drift off when she heard her door ease open. She knew it was Logan. He had taken to coming to her after he was awakened by his dreams. She heard him as he padded barefoot to her bed. She kept her breathing even and lay still. It was the same every night. He would come in. Watch her for a moment and then he would stretch out on the floor beside her bed.
He was watching her for a bit longer tonight. She wondered if he was having the same thoughts she was. The same fears. She was getting ready to turn to him when she felt a gentle touch on her cheek. It took every ounce of restraint she had not to jerk away afraid it was his flesh.
"It's just a rose, Rogue." He whispered,"Feel how soft it is?"
Slowly she turned onto her back and looked up at him. She didn't speak she just nodded.
"I know your afraid." He ran the rose down her other cheek. "No, matter what happens tomorrow. Wether I get to touch you again or not. I will always remember what your skin felt like everytime I stroked it." He drew the rose down her neck to the edge of her gown just above her breasts. Then he laid it there on her heaving chest.
"I have been feeling somethings that scare the hell out of me, Rogue." He sat on the floor and she grasped the rose to her and turned to look down at him. " Feeling like maybe you deserve better than me, but I just can't bring myself to let you go. Feeling like I am not willing to give you the choice. I am glad that you might not be able to touch anyone but me. How can I say I love you that I have these feelings for you and think like that?"
She lifted the rose to his face and stroked it down between those gloriously furrowed brows over his nose to his lips. "You can think that, because I wish that you could only ever touch me. It is the love and those feeling's that make us think that way. I want you and only you, but I worry I won't make you happy. That I won't live up to your expectations. That Rogue will never fill Marie's shoes."
"You don't have to worry about that. It isn't Marie I want. It isn't Marie I dream about, or watch as she walks through the school. Her head up and a smile on her lips laughing at something she heard. Or looking at me with so much innocence shining through her eye's I get hard just thinking about touching her. It isn't Marie that makes me forget that I can't touch her."
Rogue's eyes widened and her breath hitched. "That's it right there," he murmured. "The look that makes me want to push you back into that matress and make you mine."
She gulped a deep breath her eyes running over him looking for any sign of his words being true. He laughed,"Turn over and go to sleep. You don't have to know all my deep dark secrets."
Hugging the rose to her she turned onto her left side and closed her eyes. Then opening them she said, "Logan?"
"Yeah?" Came the gruff reply.
"I can't wait to feel you. All of you." The groan from the floor was the only reply at first.
"Liven up to your new name I see, Rogue. Put an old gut out of his misery and go to sleep."
It was amazing the diverence having him in the room with her made. She was asleep in no time. While he lay awake for the better part of the night trying not to break number eight.